Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Mommy Fly Catcher

For two weeks we have been infested with flies. Something must have died under our house. We don't know how they are coming in because the doors are kept closed. It's very aggravating and hard to cook with flies around. I can't shoo them away from the raw meat while washing my hands or going to the refrigerator. Then they land on the dishes I just washed, so I have to wash them all over again. Not fun. I re-washed a whole rack full of dishes 3 times at different times.

I've become very good with the flyswatter. Probably because I was pretty good at badminton back in the day. I swing for them and hit them in mid-air. I look ridiculous doing it, but it's pretty effective. My kids laugh at me and my husband has videotaped me. I look like a spastic cat. When they land I can usually get them in one hit.

I can't rely on my kids to swat the flies because they'll hit all kinds of things they aren't supposed to like the food on the table or the cushion I sit on. Well, my husband did that, so now the cushion is set to wash.

They land on my husband's cup or buzz right by his face, taunting him. Then he gets angry. He'll swing the flyswatter with so much force that he breaks things. I'm like, "They're not made of metal. You don't have to hit so hard."

So, they leave it to me to kill the flies. As soon as the dog sees me with the flyswatter, she goes to hide. Her old owner must've hit her with a stick before.

This morning, there were four flies in my kids' bedroom. I told them to close the door all the way when they go to bed so the flies don't land on or in their mouth while they sleep. What a lovely thought. Blech!

Sometimes the flies are bold and they will sit on my napkin while I'm eating. Then when I go to wipe my mouth I scream from fright. There goes that napkin, wasted. I have to stop eating, cover my food, and hunt for the fly.

Sometimes I'll be looking for them and they'll be right in front of my face crawling on whatever I lean against or touch. Sometimes they'll even land on my computer as I'm typing, not that I've had much time for typing since I've been hunting for flies.

Last week, I made tacos for lunch. There was only one fly flying around at the time, but I told my son to watch my tacos while I went to the bathroom. I come back to find him cleaning up one of my tacos from the ground.
I said, "What happened?"
He said, "I was swinging my arm around so the flies wouldn't land on your food and I accidentally hit one of the tacos."
I said, "Was it flying around my food?"
He said, "No, but they are so fast. I'm too slow to shoo them away. By the time I see them, they're already on the food, so I swung my arm before they got there." He shows me by swinging his arm like a baseball bat. Geez.
I said, "Aw, so I lost a taco for nothing?" Those damn flies.

I'd like to be one of those people who doesn't kill bugs, but when it's a choice between our health and the flies, the flies lose. I've already wasted so much time trying to catch them. It would take me so much longer trying to chase them out the door. Can you imagine trying to chase flies out the door every day for 2 weeks? 30-40+ flies? Because that's how many there have been in our house. Please don't send me hate email or suggestions on how I should be because I admit I'm not perfect and neither are you.

I gave a couple of flies to the spider in a corner so it could have some dinner. My kids were appalled, but I said, "What? He has to eat, too!" At least those flies didn't go to waste.

I don't know when this is going to end, but I hope it's soon. Whatever maggots are still hatching I hope it's the last of them.

Now my husband and kids call me "Mommy Fly Catcher."


  1. My thought on bugs is...outside you live inside you die. Hope the flies take a flyer and are gone before long.